Starbearer

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The sun bears down, heavy on the searing desert. One step after the other. We are almost there. Rocky outcrops to the left offer a small strip of shade. I lay her down, carefully, her body so light, wrapped in white linen. The waterskin is half empty. I press it against her lips. "I don't need it." Her voice is but a faint breath, still her eyes show an inflexible will. "You need strength." <<night>> The setting sun shades the dunes in deep blue. Stars fill the sky with their cold glow. I arrange her position so she can see them. "Soon, I will join them." It will be the end of the journey. "I will watch over you from up there." <<day>> One step after the other, in the cool morning air. Under the horizon, a dark ridge emerges from the red sand. At last, we have reached the plateaus. The black jagged edge rises over the desert. We tread in its shadow and a shiver runs down my spine. "Do not fret. I am here." A steep pass leads up to a rocky ravine covered in dry weeds. There is a man in the distance, tall, cloaked in dark blue. The smell of camels, a caravan. He gestures in our direction but dares not come too close. He drops two bags to the ground. I wait until he is far enough to take them. Water and flatbread. <<night>> "We are almost there." Her breath whizzes as she speaks. "You will have done your part." I look up at the endless sky. "You will need to live your own life." I caress her black hair, eyes closed. <<day>> One step after the other. As we climb, the plants grow greener, the air sweeter. "It is time." Her voice is weak right against my ear. "Discard my body to ease your burden." I cannot. "You must." I know... "These are the last words I will ever say. Are you listening?" I am. "I will always love you." Fibers in her bound chest creak and screech, snap like dry wood. I hold her head in my hands, her skin like smooth cooper. <<night>> The night is cold and windy. I lay her head in a nest of cloth, pointed toward the sky. Countless specks of light shine in her almond-shaped eyes. We are almost there. <<day>> One step after the other, we have reached our destination. Bones litter the ground. The stone altar towers at the top of the hill. We wait for the night. <<night>> It is time. I kiss her lips, smooth and hard like metal. I kiss her eyes, cool and sweet like the evening wind. The flat stone lies by the side. Her skull cracks with a sharp snap. A small star lies inside the fibrous core of the shattered shell. It throbs between my fingers, soft and warm. Alive. Weightless. I let it rise in the air, up toward the night sky. And I hope one day I will join you up there.<<stars>>

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